Are you kidding?

I have more hormones than an endocrinology clinic and three kids of various ages and a spouse to displace them. My husband thinks I am certifiably insane and if it weren't for our huge NICU bill, we might admit me...or is it commit me (not sure…I always forget) to the nearest loony bin. For now, I can just roam around all glorious 1650 square feet of palace in a "half sleep" and wait for the next "feeding" or what I refer to as "torchure by bottle." This ritual starts with a whaling 2 week old who seems to be screaming "I am starving you raving loony, my blood sugar is low and if you haven’t noticed, it's been all of 2 1/2 hours since the last torcher." I rise from a deep slumber in a manner similar to what I imagine fire fighters do when the alarm sounds. My eyes are glued together by contacts left in for 21 days so I feel my way towards the blood curdling screams. Once I pick up the pile of blankets I assume has a baby swaddled, I proceed to the bathroom to make the "meal", realize the bathroom is not the kitchen and finally head in the right direction. At this point, I will do anything for a pacifier to stop the fire alarm and just like 2 1/2 hours ago, it is nowhere to be found. To avoid waking up two sick siblings, I am singing anything that comes to mind to settle the starving child; Somewhere Over the Rainbow, the ABC song, Why me...I want to die (I made this one up as I went). With only one hand and an off key refrain from a made up song, I prepare a bottle to feed the ravenous offspring and pray I am doing it right since my eyes are still pasted together by "dry contact eye syndrome." After I feel around the child's face to find the largest hole to insert the bottle nipple, I finally hear the sounds of sucking, swallowing, and sometimes breathing coming from the arm full of blankets in front of me. At last, the fire alarm is off, soothing sounds of baby blood sugar elevating, baby belly filling and a softer rendition of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star playing in my head. After 2 verses of Twinkle, I only hear breathing, no sucking, no swallowing, only breathing. I manage to open one eye to investigate this impossible sleep like rhythmic breathing, and as I suspected, the baby who woke the entire house up to talk about his hunger, is now fast asleep. "WHAT?!? Oh no you don't little man! No sleepy-sleep time for you friend...it is eating time. And by they way, we are stuffing you silly this time so that you will sleep more than 97 minutes." This is where the torchure begins. Against all logic, I am talking to my 17 day old explaining why I am stripping him to a mere diaper and wiping him down with a wash cloth. I am apologizing all along the way explaining that, I also, do not like to be woken up when I am tired and that I wish I didn't have to wake him to have him finished what he started. I shamefully go into why we “finish what we start” and how we really do need to get better at not waiting until the last minute to cry wolf on hunger. I am begging him to suck on the bottle about 3 minutes into the "tickle feet" portion of the torture when he figures out that the annoying poking on the top of his mouth is a food source. He is almost startled in awe...almost to say "oh...is it time to eat...I had no idea...sorry I dozed off." Are you kidding? Doesn't matter now, “eat son, eat...before Mom cancels your college fund, cashes it out and admits herself for psychological evaluation”...or is it commits herself...I always forget.

Our Family is Complete

Seems kind of fitting that we start a blog as we start our lives as a family of 5...even typing 5 gives me heart palpitations. Our journey since we added the last little one to the clan has been a bit bumpy. After staying in the hospital for 9 days we headed home to two sick siblings and two tired parents. Carson's bilirubin levels have continued to be a problem so we have been back and forth from the pediatrician all week. I think we have turned a corner, however, and are on the road to recovery! We had so many amazing people praying for our family through the chaos and it has made all the difference! Now, the hard part...raising them all! Stay tuned...I am sure it will be a ride worth keeping up with.